It’s been a long summer full of learning experiences. Some of them great and some of them not so great. The process of learning who you are and what you want is not always incredibly enjoyable, but it is necessary, I believe, for a happy life. I can honestly say that I am getting there. I am constantly amazed by what is put in front of me and the reason it has been put there.
I am raising confident, happy children. And that, at this time, is good enough for me. It took me all summer to find out I wasn’t missing out on anything. Everything I need is right here. The rest is just going to be icing on the cake. 
Today I found out my neighbors are moving. They moved to this town, 2 houses away, shortly after I did. It has been wonderful knowing them and I can’t imagine this year without them. They have had our family over for countless dinners, picked up my kids daily after school, never ask for repayment, and often will not take favors in return. We have been unconditionally accepted by them. Sometimes, they are so good to us, it is embarrassing. This will be a loss for us.
I can tell you that no matter what the loss is, it still brings back memories of the loss of my marriage and the hopes and dreams that were associated with that partnership. The grieving process goes on even if I have peace with the result; even if I knew the decision was the correct one.
I doubt I will ever be a person who takes any loss in my life lightly. I will understand the meaning, but never accept the coming and going of people in my life simply. I can’t and wouldn’t change that about myself.
They were just neighbors and they were just here for a few months. Some people very easily touch your life and leave a permanent mark. We will be recover, slowly.
A friend of mine once said that whoever thought of the act of dating should be hung or sentenced to a life of eternal degradation. Another called dating a “minefield”. I can agree with both; and more.
Dating after divorce is as bad as it was prior to marriage only now you have to add the distrust and bruised self-esteem to the act. In the first year after I was single again, I used to be the “6 week wonder”. I would date someone and try to convince myself they were a perfect match for me….and then drop them like a bad habit at the 6 week mark. I could always find something wrong with them. And they found plenty wrong with me.
I am a little better now, have relaxed my expectations and I don’t date just for validation. I enjoy meeting new people. I tend to freak out, though, prior to a first date because I don’t want to expend the energy getting to know someone only to find out one of us may not like the other. It seems silly and I feel exposed and vulnerable. The standards are high for a reason, however, and I remain true to them. The poor souls I date don’t have much of a chance…
At the very least, I usually learn something about myself and something about others with every new date. AND I have learned that there will always be another date…with someone…good or bad.
Welcome to Divorce Afterlife. I am dedicating this site to positive changes, reliable relationships, healthy children, loyal friendships, and a future filled with hope. I have so much to learn from you and much to share as well.
