Now What?

admin | Rants and Raves Afterlife | Sunday, 01 June 2008

I have maybe mentioned that during and after my divorce, I gave up any form of social life to ensure that my children had the easiest transition possible and were provided with a stable, reliable environment.  Their minds and their hearts were of greatest importance to me.

Mission accomplished.  Secure, safe children exist in my home.

Now, this summer I arranged to have them stay with their father for about 6 weeks after the end of school.  It will be an education for all of us.  I am looking forward to some time to concentrate on school and maybe some small shadow of a social life.

They have been gone for 2 days now and I think that is enough.  I would like to go get them and bring them back.  Their chaos is greatly missed.  They are my motivation for all activities of daily living.  Don’t get me wrong, we all needed this opportunity: he needed an extended time with them, they needed him for the same, I needed my sanity and an opportunity to find myself.

I have accomplished many things in the past 4 years.  Most of them have made me feel completely naked and uncomfortable.  Now this transition is no different.  I have taken care of everyone’s needs and now I am left with the feeling of “What do I do now?”  I’m somewhat in a panic because I’m not comfortable going out alone and since my move from 3 hours away one year ago, friends are not abundant.

Did I mention that I am not a patient person?

I will let you know how it turns out.  Stay tuned and feel free to offer advice on this one.

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