Insult to Injury
Today and for the last several days, I have been thinking about how people hurt each other. Sometimes, for me, it seems like I have to re-live certain hurts over and over again. And I can be angry and plot revenge and cry and scream all I want and it never stops. How do you get it to stop?
One way, I suppose, is to just ignore it and rise above it. Yeah, that works for a while. And then it makes its way back. Another way is to let the person know; and then they just throw it right back at you. Some hurts seem to be made of super glue.
I doubt anyone could have hurt me the way my best friend did. When they told me she wanted my life, I didn’t believe them. I cared about her and believed in her the way I do everyone, even now. I didn’t realize that she really did want my life; literally. My marriage had it’s problems and so did my divorce, but with her at the root of it all, things were worse than they should have been. Even now, our communication is stifled by her presence. I have tried, but I just can’t shake the hurt that she caused.
Do I want a friend like that back? No, certainly not. I just want her to someday acknowledge that SHE hurt ME and not the other way around. It is insulting that she takes no responsibility for the demise of our friendship; I guess I was the only one involved in that. I have tried throwing stones at her, tried explaining it to her, tried turning the other cheek, but she continues to be the “princess in the tower” and she can’t be reached.
I am not sure why people make the choices they do and how they become so selfish as to take what belongs to someone else, no matter how damaged it is. Jealousy may be a more negative emotion than hatred.