Moving Forward
One of the biggest anxieties from my divorce is money. A friend of mine correctly stated that, unfortunately, divorce usually improves the financial status of a man while women incur a financial set back. Child support and settlement dollars aside, that is true.
On my way out the door, I was warned that I would never make it without him and I would never be happy. The goal is to prove him wrong on both counts. Of the few friends that I kept, I had several positive influences. They encouraged me to go back to school. I started out at a community college to see if I could balance three kids, a job, and school. Now, I am in graduate school studying for my Master’s Degree.
School served several purposes. It gave me a sense of control over my life, it gave my mind something to think about other than the emotional turmoil, it gave me a forward direction, and it provided somewhat of a social life. One other thing it has done is demonstrate a strong independence to my children which I think will prove valuable to them later on. And, hopefully very soon it will give me the edge I need in the job market to move us all forward financially.
School is not for everyone. I understand that. My point would be this: divorce presents a situation where it is very tempting to sit in stagnation or cling to the next bit of security provided by another person. I am a huge fan of using this lesson in life to grow and change and move forward with strength and regain control over my life. It has been beneficial for me to face my fears head on and use them to my benefit. I will be happy and I will make it without him and provide a great life for my kids. This is a promise.